Sunday, September 20, 2009

The Entitlement-Free Child {Review & Giveaway}

{This giveaway is now closed. Thanks to those who entered!}

My kids have toys. Too many toys. I've spent a lot of time at garage sales the past few summers and really can't pass up a good deal, so when there's a bargain calling out I can't seem to turn away and it ends up just having to come home with me. The girls have big toys and small toys and things that light up and blink and make noise (shudder) and things that are simple and wooden and run purely on imagination alone.


Even though it is an ongoing joke with family and friends that it's like walking into a toy store when you enter their playroom, I know that overindulging children is a serious issue and I've always been very careful about it with my own. No one wants to raise THAT CHILD. You know the one, the kind that has always been given everything they have ever wanted and is now screaming for a candy bar in the grocery store or yelling and stomping about having to wait their turn for a time on the swings at the park.

So, if no one wants to raise one of those children, how do some of them end up that way? Where can a parent find the strategies for how to bring up a well-rounded, respectful, confident child?


The Entitlement-Free Child
, by Karen Deerwester, is a straightforward, easy to follow book that is written for parents to see results. What is entitlement? It's the "Me! Mine! Now!" attitude, often accompanied by a relentless demand for immediate gratification and a lack of self-control. Well-meaning parents who appease their child's every want and need are unknowingly taking away their child's ability to not only learn that self-control, but those children lose the knowledge of how to respect and work well with others and solve many of the problems they will encounter in life.

Deerwester writes, "The entitlement child doesn't accept 'enough' because he's afraid he might miss out on 'more.' The entitlement-free child, on the other hand trusts that his needs will be met, because he has learned that he can count on other people today and tomorrow. Life is okay even when he is frustrated, confused, or upset."

Parents want the best for their children, of course, and I'm included. But I know that I feel the same pressures that other moms do when it comes to giving them more than they really need to have a happy and memorable childhood. Will every choice that I make now affect the rest of their lives? If I haven't done my best at giving them all the advantages I can, will I be setting them back? In The Entitlement-Free Child, I learned that these are irrational thoughts and expectations to put upon myself and that it is okay to accept that I cannot make my children happy all the time.

Instead, this book highlights the entitlement or entitlement-free messages in parenting situations and shows you just how to meet your child's genuine needs while teaching respect and appreciation for others. The Entitlement-Free Child is a great resource for parents looking to encourage their child's potential and, from an early age, teach them that they matter. Other people matter. Not only that, but the two go hand in hand.

Would you like to have a resource to go to when you are looking for strategies to teach your children self-respect and respect for others? For hands-on tips to guide you through parenting situations such as bossiness, teacher conflicts and bickering siblings? Visit Karen Deerwester's website, Family Time, and...

One lucky person will win their own copy of The Entitlement-Free Child!

To enter to win your own copy of The Entitlement-Free Child: Tell me what about this book appeals to you or why you would like to win it. For yourself? For a friend? Please do me the favor of leaving an email address or making absolutely sure it is visible in your profile. I have to have a way to contact the winner.

Extra Entries (available after the mandatory entry above is completed, please leave a separate comment for each entry)
1 Extra Entry - Enter any other current giveaways on Thanks, Mail Carrier (1 entry per giveaway entered). There are some great ones going on right now!
2 Extra Entries (leave 2 separate comments) if you follow me with Google Friend Connect.
2 Extra Entries (leave 2 separate comments) if you follow me on twitter and tweet about this giveaway by copying and pasting the tweet below and leaving me the link.

Raise respectful kids in a "me, mine, now!" culture: Enter "The Entitlement-Free Child" #giveaway @thxmailcarrier http://bit.ly/8Tl1l

3 Extra Entries (leave 3 separate comments) if you put my cute new button up on your blog. Please leave an address where it can be found.
3 Extra Entries (leave 3 separate comments) if you blog about this giveaway. Please leave an address where it can be found.

Giveaway will end on October 5th at 11:59pm CST. The winner will be chosen by random.org and announced here as well as emailed. The winner will have 48 hours to contact me or respond to notification or a new winner will be chosen. Giveaway open to U.S. residents only.

A big thank you to Sourcebooks for providing me with a copy of The Entitlement-Free Child, as well as for one lucky giveaway winner.

42 comments:

mudmama said... 1

Hi there! You are so right, that we don't want to raise "THAT child". As an only child raising a child who is currently an only child--who we wanted so badly and want to give everything too--I think it is super important to walk that line and make sure we make sure he does not feel entitled.
Thanks for letting us know about this book!

Helene said... 2

I sooooooooooooo need this book! I was just complaining to my husband that I'm fearful that we're raising spoiled rotten kids because we give them everything they want. I totally knows it goes back to childhood issues I'm obviously still struggling with.

So I would definitely love to win this book!!! It sounds very helpful!

Helene said... 3

I'm already following you!

Nikki said... 4

Girl..I'm one of the ones that buys my kids everything. I've learned to cut back but I just want them to have it all. They are definately NOT spoiled though. That book is a good idea.
..btw...LOVE the grab button. Way cute!!
nik

Opus #6 said... 5

Thanks so much for the follow, Xenia.

Katrina said... 6

this book would be for me because right now I am on the path to raising a horrible child and I need to change things around...this book could help me make things better before she gets any older

ykatrina at hotmail dot com

the shoppe owner said... 7

I want this book because I need the encouragement as I simplify my family's life. I need to be reminded of what's important, and "stuff" just isn't all that important! I began my "household simplification/exfoliation" process a few months back (though it has been weighing on my mind for a few years) because I was tired of seeing my children not appreciate the many, many, many things we owned. Their bedroom (we don't have a playroom) was always covered (not an exaggeration!) with their toys and clothes and everything. I am an extremely organized person, so they have bins and bags and drawers and hangers for everything they own, but they just don't care to care. And that has been killing me. We do teach our children to be responsible and to value what they have, especially the non-material things. And i rarely ever buy them anything beyond clothing/shoes because our relatives all go bananas at every birthday and holiday (a big part of the problem - they don't want me to even suggest NOT getting MORE TOYS and stuff for the kids...). So, anyway. I need the reassurance that I'm on the right track and the encouragement to press on toward something better!

Thanks!

Jennifer said... 8

Oh, I just don't care for those kinds of kids. And whenever I come into contact with them, I either feel sorry for the parents (who wants a kid like that?!) or I get mad at the parents and child (why would you do that to your kid?!). And so, I would hate to raise a child like that unknowingly... or knowingly, take your pick! ;-) LOL!

I want this book! Nooooow! Waaaaahhhh! (If it helps my cause, I have thrown myself on the floor and am having a full blown tantrum)

Jennifer said... 9

Following you now!

Marie said... 10

I want this book for myself. My son is 15 months and he already has the world. He is going to be my only child and it was a miracle that I had him. I don't want him to grow up to be a spoiled brat.

mccataquet(at)comcast(dot)net

justicecw said... 11

I need this book for myself. My son is 5 and he has entitlement issues already. I want to make sure that I am not raising a spoiled child! Thanks for the chance, justicecw@hotmail.com

justicecw said... 12

#1 Following on twitter and tweeted at http://twitter.com/justicecw/status/4450640379
justicecw@hotmail.com

justicecw said... 13

#2 Following on twitter and tweeted at http://twitter.com/justicecw/status/4450640379
justicecw@hotmail.com

justicecw said... 14

I am a google friend connect follower #1
justicecw@hotmail.com

justicecw said... 15

I am a google friend connect follower #2
justicecw@hotmail.com

phxbne said... 16

Like you I can't resist a bargain - or a contest - so way too much stuff....what happened to toys only at Christmas and birthdays?!

phxbne said... 17

http://twitter.com/phxbne/status/4478225829

phxbne said... 18

tweet #2 http://twitter.com/phxbne/status/4478225829

phxbne said... 19

entered Applied Labels

Wendi P said... 20

I am really struggling with the wants of my 7 and 9 yr old girls. "So and so has one" is a common reply from them when I say NO to one of their desires. I am hoping this book will give me some insight and help me make good choices.

parodi821 at yahoo dot com

Wendi P said... 21

I follow on google friend connect #1

Wendi P said... 22

I follow on google friend connect #2

parodi821 at yahoo dot com

Chacoy said... 23

I would love to win the book for myself, the older they get the harder it is and if I don't nip it in the bud no it will get even worse then it is now?

Chacoy said... 24

I would love to win this for me, it doesn't get easier as they get older I know and I have to nip it in the bud now or else it will get to where we can't go anywhere anymore. The book could help us with the entitlement issues!!

Chacoy said... 25

I am a follower:)

Chacoy said... 26

I also entered another giveaway, the one to the Chic Monkey, I hope I win one or both ha ha lol

Unknown said... 27

I would like this book for myself. Entitlement is the theme of this generation and I'd like to nip it in the bud within my own household. Then, perhaps, pass it along to my friends.
amberjoyc(at)yahoo(dot)com

Unknown said... 28

I also entered your ChicMonkey giveaway.
amberjoyc(at)yahoo(dot)com

Lisa R said... 29

I need this book....Help me say no

Stephanie said... 30

My goal is raising selfless children, not selfish, this book looks great. steffanie771 at hotmail.com

Renee said... 31

I entered the Applied Labels giveaway too

Hillary said... 32

I would want this book to help me in raising my daughter and unborn son. I am also interested in it as a teacher.

Hillary said... 33

Following you.

Hillary said... 34

Following you.

Laureen said... 35

I would like to win this book because I think it would really help me with my oldest daughter who has a great tendancy to be a "me, me girl." Thanks!

lmarston AT yahoo DOT com

Laureen said... 36

I follow you with Google Friend Connect. Entry #1

lmarston AT yahoo DOT com

Laureen said... 37

I follow you with Google Friend Connect. Entry #2

lmarston AT yahoo DOT com

Laureen said... 38

I entered the UPrinting.com: 24" x 36" Vinyl Banner with grommets giveaway. Thanks!

lmarston AT yahoo DOT com

Laureen said... 39

I entered the giveaway for the Raspberry Sorbet Flower Beanie from The Chic Monkey Baby Boutique. Thanks!

lmarston AT yahoo DOT com

Laureen said... 40

I entered the giveaway for the $50 Gift Certificate to Applied Labels. Thanks!

lmarston AT yahoo DOT com

Laureen said... 41

I follow you on Twitter and Tweeted. Entry #1
http://twitter.com/MamandeEDS/statuses/4647960539

lmarston AT yahoo DOT com

Laureen said... 42

I follow you on Twitter and Tweeted. Entry #2
http://twitter.com/MamandeEDS/statuses/4647960539

lmarston AT yahoo DOT com